The Number One Lie That is Holding You Back
By Jeanette Vale
I'd been off sugar for half of 2022. I lost forty pounds---La! Then I fell off the wagon. Once I did, I was like Lucy and Ethel–grabbing up the sweets and stuffing them in my face.
Why do we snap back to old behaviors?
Here is my theory, based on personal experience.
You have one sentence that you believe 100%. This sentence is a lie. It is negative (an example: No one wants me). It is a powerful sentence.
It is causing this ‘snap back’. Because we want to cover that lie. We slather it in food, gambling, porn, alcohol, you get the idea.
That sounds horribly negative!
Yes, it does. Stay with me....
When you find out what the lie is (that you believe 100%) , this puts light on it.
When you put light on it, it loses its power.
When it loses power, your life gets better. Way better!
This blog is an introduction to this concept and the gifts that come when it is taken out.
What does this have to do with being prepared for emergencies? Everything.
Do you have the money for what your family needs? This could be for a relocation, a cabin, water tanks, food storage, new vehicles or at this point, a dozen eggs.
Do you pick up the slack for everyone around you, further draining your strength and resources?
Believe me, these things are driven by this one lie/sentence.
Do we want this sentence gone? Yes!!!
Here is my journey.
- I am broken!
- The Personality quadrants
- The Feedback chain
- Bye Bye to Braydon's Sentence
- Gold piling in the back room
- In Conclusion I am Broken!
Years ago I drew a picture in my journal. My body was laying on the ground in front of a brick wall. My head was bloodied from ramming this wall. My dreams lay broken around me.
No matter what I dreamed – I didn't achieve it! I couldn’t get past this wall.
I would literally find a reason to bounce! “This is dumb. Why did I want this? I quit".
I was a Master Saboteur. I needed a therapist to understand why I was doing this!
The right therapist makes ALL the difference.
I met Frank. Actually, he was not a therapist. But he was passionate about solving life. He introduced me to this and coached me for months as I navigated this.
The Personality Quadrants
Hippocrates was the first to inspire the idea of these four quadrants of personality. We all fall into one of them. Of course, we are very complex creatures and we are not painted so simply. But, I am going to argue that a solution might be simple –because simple did something new.
Your lie/sentence is worded ‘just so’, by what personality quadrant you are in. If you do not know your quadrant, you will not find your sentence.
You have wanted to find your sentence, all your life. I promise.
Your subconscious does not cut the sentence free if you don’t hit the right wording.
You cannot coerce, trick, or fake finding the sentence. You must land on the specific wording in order to break its hold. You will know when you hit the sentence. As you will see in mine and Braydon's story below.
Goal number one is to find out what your personality type is. Are you a powerful red? A supportive green? A thorough analytical blue or a playful promoter yellow? We see and interact with the world around us according to our personality type. Also, we talk to ourselves accordingly, this is important.
Diagram by MudaMasters
Quick summary: At some point in our life, we adopted one lie/sentence more powerfully than other negative sentences that we tend to say to ourselves. This sentence must be taken out of power. It is stressing the finances, relationships, and health! The secondary sentences take care of themselves if you smash the major sentence.
The Feedback Chain
How do I find my lie/sentence? A person is taken through three or four segments of questions (the feedback chain) as they narrow down negative sentences common to us. This is done until they hit one sentence that resonates the strongest.
I did this emotional work in class. I went home and did more. I spent hours, days, weeks and months processing the work to find it and cut it loose.
And then it came
I was in my yard going through a feedback chain when I struck pay dirt.
I’m now wishing I could back out of this blog, but it's part two in a series. I forgot how weird this was and now I am relating it to strangers. I will push forward. Someone might need this info. Weird stuff happens to all of us. So here is my weird experience. No judging.
I felt something in my core. I could feel the shape of it. I felt it rise up slowly. “This body is no good”. I felt those specific words. At the very same time, I knew it was the most powerful force- infinite in its strength! I was nothing compared to its power. When I say infinite, that is the word that describes its force.
Did you get that? My sentence rose up out of me like a freakin’ demon! THEN it sank back.
CREEPY!!!!! What the HELL was that?! What was that made of? Because I felt its shape! It had the shape of a surfboard tip.
There is a spiritual world we know little about. IF that was spirit matter. Who knows! I don't have any understanding of this experience. Weigh in below if you have ideas. No, I don't drink or do drugs.
Once I recovered from the shock of that moment I asked my mom to tell me about her pregnancy with me.
The doctor worried I would die. She had to take vitamin B injections to boost the chance of carrying me full term.
When I was finally born I would bruise easily if they touched me.
Did I sense that I got a sub par body? Did I pick up how my mother felt about me? I think this was my beginning, 'This body is no good'.
Some days after this experience I had found a secondary sentence. "I am no good" (The first one was "This body is no good"). With this one, I broke down sobbing. Something snapped inside and I think this is when a big part of the lie/sentence lost its power.
I went limp. I entered a state of limbo that stretched three plus years while I had to find a new reason to be alive. I lost all desire for everything. The slate was wiped clean. It was like I became a nobody.
Now what do I do? I spent forty-six years covering that sentence so no one saw it. I overcompensated in all areas of life, all day long, every day so I didn't feel it. It apparently fleshed out how I lived my life because I was absolutely left blank.
I know what you're thinking, "Why would I want such a therapy? That sounds counterintuitive". But I argue, it is not. It is soul & psychological cleaning on a foundational level. Some might be looking for this. So I share it.
Bye Bye to Braydon's Sentence
A classmate of mine hit his sentence while we sat in class. As he talked through a feedback chain, his sentence came. We could tell because he said it very slowly as it presented itself. I think his was, "Everyone hates me".
How did he react? It seemed to shock him.
His face and neck went red. He said, "I feel really angry".
Why did he become angry?
He wanted to be healed of that sentence, yet when it left he realized, "I WAS USING THAT!!!"
I think it's like the awake brain snatches a beloved tool from the subconscious brain ---and the subconscious brain gets pissed! Pardon the language.
Your mind also realizes once the sentence dislodges, it does not return. To feel this loss is devastating, like the moment a loved one dies and you feel the finality of it.
I Have never heard of a therapy that could do this! A huge chunk of mental chaos is cut free in such a short time.
The awake brain gets the upper hand over the more powerful brain and wins. WOW!!!
Deep anger is the result: At least for Braydon. I reacted by going limp (I'm a green, he's a red). We probably react to loss differently, based on our personalities.
When your sentence leaves, you gain a full understanding of how powerful it was.
Gold piling in the back room
Was it worth it to clear out that sentence? Yes!
As I have been wrangling my goals and dreams (which strangely still somewhat elude me!) I stumbled upon a back room in my life ---piles of gold lay about! When did this get here? Who brought this?!
I wasn't looking for these particular gifts, but I'll take 'em!
Blessings come in their own way. These stack in a certain order as a new foundation is built.
In our social-media world we want to show the audience our cabin and it's time lapse build in ten minutes. I don't have those results yet. My van is still a heap, my cell phone real cheap.
The gold I have now is a quiet mind. I don't need to numb like I used to. That sentence had a high pitch and is now mostly silent. Anxiety dropped several notches.
My finances went into the green and stayed there. Debt that strangled me for years released its grip.
I got free schooling in Graphic Design and I landed this amazing job. I get to be creative and artistic at work all day! Specifically because that sentence was removed! I am able to think differently and I have better options open to me.
When you heal, it gives others permission to let go of their exhausting shenanigans.
My kids have a healthier mom. They see what boundaries look like now. My daughter puts her mental health first by saying no, if she needs to. I see her enjoying the peace of having boundaries. When you heal, it rubs off. GOLD.
I spent Christmas with my son. He knew the old me. My new energy to him communicated: You are doing awesome. You've got this. I trust you.
Gone is the rescuing helicopter parent. Hallelujah!
Mental health is mental wealth! It's GOLD.
My subconscious stopped the following:
- The need to rescue others in a co-dependent way. I used to rescue them in hopes that they would see that I was good, maybe they would like me. Or I'd feel guilty for bad mothering. Then I'd overcompensate to make them accept and forgive me. This is manipulative. The old and young resent being played. This also wiped me out financially to rescue people.
- The need to be fake.
- The need to use my talents and gifts to cover the lie/sentence. They're to be used for expression and joy.
Do I still have some of that sentence in me? I bet I do. I snap back into old behaviors, but it has gotten way easier to keep winning. There is momentum and gifts of strength that come.
We must get FIT. Mental fitness leads to success in the other areas of fitness. If you don't have it 'together' in the mind, it is harder to get a grip on the relationships, mental health, emotions, and fitness.
We've got too many storms hitting us and we need to be upright. Our families need to be strong.
In next week's blog, I’m going to show you how that sentence has cost me millions of dollars. I could be SO wealthy by now. So could you! And we still can, in all ways!
My objective with this blog: This emotional tech exists, and it is very effective. It doesn't just heal one person but eventually it spreads mental health to whomever the healed person is close to.
Come visit us!
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