The Family Prepared * A Foundation for Emotional Resilience
By Jeanette Vale
Four minute read.
The students huddled in the corner of their classroom. They had received word a shooter had entered the school. Suddenly their door opened and the first thing they saw was the barrel of a gun enter. Luckily, it was the police. They swarmed the room with their guns sweeping back and forth, even in the direction of the kids.
This happened last week as every high school in Utah received a false alarm of a shooter. My co-worker’s son described this scene to her. He couldn’t talk about this for two days and his hands were shaking badly after this event.
By the time she had picked him up and drove him past a nearby intersection, massive tents, beds, doctors, and nurses stood ready to take the injured.
These kids needed a high level of emotional fitness to de-escalate from this school day.
How important is it that we are emotionally resilient? Since 2020 it seems we have been in a state of fight-or-flight. As humans, we were not meant to stay stressed for such long periods. How are you and your kids processing the stresses that you have?
At Emergency Zone, we teach the four pillars of preparedness (Click here for our Guidebook). One of these is fitness. Quite specifically, let’s talk about emotional fitness.
What is the foundation of emotional resilience? Let me share mine.
The First Layer
God and understanding the laws that make him HIM (the most resilient being in the universe). I won’t go into detail. You can do that with Him one on one. Or whatever is your Higher Power.
The Second Layer
(Made up of these three)
SLOW WAY DOWN
LISTEN TO YOUR GUT
SAY NO TO EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING THAT DOES NOT HELP YOUR FAMILY MISSION
If you are running ragged, you must slow down. Way down. I once had a strange dream, and yes, I am going to tell you about it and the amazing outcome in real life.
There was a huge airplane and crowds of people were climbing aboard. I was part of this throng. It was a hustle to find a seat. The seat rows faced every which way, a haphazard pattern of seating. I was pushed along by the many bodies as we tried to get settled. I soon found myself off the plane.
How very frustrating! How did that happen? So, I re-entered the plane and began to push and shove my way about.
Yet again, I was jostled off the plane–but it was a good thing because the plane later crashed and everyone died. I was hanging in a tree watching it crash. I was so relieved that I wasn’t in that wreckage. How I got into a tree wasn’t made clear, but there you go, that was my dream.
What triggered this dream? In real life I had chosen to add too much to my schedule, and I became very stressed. My dream seemed to say, “you have just arrived at a peaceful season, and now you have chosen to overdo yourself again. It doesn’t end well to follow the crowds”.
So, I quit what I had started (which was school). I hear a mom out there saying to me, “But school is a no-brainer! Of course, you should be in school”. Um….No.
I quit school.
A couple of years later schooling opened for me, but by then, the timing was right. It felt like the moving sidewalk at the airport, meaning, everything flowed perfectly to be there.
LISTEN TO YOUR GUT
When I listened to my gut (as well as this dream), by quitting school, I was rewarded with a better situation at school (later), paid for by a state grant, and a fast graduation. My career began at a perfect-for-me job, three miles from home, and debt free.
I would have been ragged if I stayed my original course. Luckily, I got off that plane because I learned to recognize better advice.
This saved me thousands of dollars and shaved off two years. It was so worth it to my emotional wellbeing!
The takeaway: Listen to your gut. If it sends you a message that you shouldn’t be doing something, then stop doing that thing or ease out of it as much as you can.
If you feel like you should be doing something, make sure it’s not fear pushing the idea. We get tangled in a lot of expensive ‘prepper’ projects (especially after a fiery YouTube video), only to realize we should’ve asked ourselves better questions.
Timing is everything. Maybe you will do all of it but take the time to get the priorities right.
When we have too much on our plate, we become vulnerable and weak. If there was ever a time to be strong, it is now. Our children need strong parents.
SAY NO TO EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING THAT DOES NOT SERVE YOUR FAMILY MISSION
Someone made a shirt that expresses my general mood. I love the message. NOPE. The first answer is “no, I am not available”. or “No, I'm too old and tired, you're young. get another job. pay for that yourself.” Maybe the answer becomes ‘yes’ later, but it’s good to disappoint people right off the bat. Just give them a hug and remind them that you love them. You've got priorities to care for your family in a certain way. That comes first.
The bad guys will keep showing up. The tornados, and hurricanes will as well. But if we are intuitive, we can be in the right place, doing the right thing, at the right time. This being the best recipe for the resilient family!
I just heard of a sweet girl. She felt strongly that she didn’t want to go to school one morning. Teach yourself and your children to feel for the inner voice. This sounds like, ‘something doesn’t feel right'. Or, ‘don’t go in that direction’. Or 'cross the street now'.
Sadly this little girl did not return home again. There was a shooting in her school that day.
There is a way to get good at recognizing gut instinct. It is a skill worth developing and small children are actually great at it. Of all my advice in this blog, this one is the vital one. You become ten feet tall and bullet-proof when you have this guide. It makes you calm, confident, and resilient!
The Nutshell takeaway to becoming emotionally resilient: Be connected to God or your Higher Power. Slow down. Listen to your instinct. Say no to demands that don't serve you and your family.
Next week we will talk more on this subject--If I remember.
Come visit us. We’d love to help you. www.emergencyzone.com